An exclusive event took place on Wednesday night in the heart of fashionable Bed-Stuy. Despite some touches of gray in her hair, hotelier Leona Helmsley was looking quite youthful and vibrant for someone 2 months dead. She was accompanied by her pampered dog, Trouble, who (to our spy's surprise) literally towered over her. Ms. Helmsley's co-host (and husband) was a vampire, and specifically a vampire from Interview with the Vampire. Our spy didn't catch which character he was playing, but according to imdb.com, he would have to be either Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise -- albeit in a truly impenetrable disguise.
Among other visiting luminaries too numerous to mention, we spotted Supercop (presumably the archnemesis of Supertramp), an escaped head trauma patient accompanied by a doctor who did not provide any medical credentials, and a fiery-winged dragon with a knight (possibly St. George?) to slay her if she got out of hand. Although our spy reports the dragon looked rather fierce, so it's probably just as well that she didn't start ravaging the neighborhood and demanding sacrifices. Some marathon runners stopped by, no doubt in an effort to get a several-day jump on the competition, but no one had the heart to tell them they were nowhere near the race course.
We hear, we hear ... Those who were hoping for a visit from the Great Pumpkin - or more specifically, the genuine article rather than a cheap imitation - were sadly disappointed. Apparently, the Great Pumpkin requires a pumpkin patch out of which to rise, not a jack-o'lantern patch. So the real T.G.P. was a no-show. As the experts at wikipedia have concluded based on their extensive research:
The Great Pumpkin is a holiday figure (comparable to Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny).... [O]n Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch he deems the most "sincere". The Great Pumpkin then flies through the air to deliver toys to all the good little children in the world. ...
- Unlike with Santa Claus, one shouldn't specify any gift ideas in a letter to the Great Pumpkin; rather, you should wait for whatever he brings you.
- It should be addressed as thus; Great Pumpkin c/o the Pumpkin Patch