My Spring Vacation

Reading on a cool porch on a sun-drenched afternoon:

The new face of Dairy Queen:

Fountain after breakfast:

Resurrecting the bikes:

The kite flyers:

Gotcha

Guy: Have you ever seen a man naked?
Girl (after a pause, cautiously): You mean, either in a photograph, on film, on stage, or in person?
Guy: Any of those.
Girl: Yes, of course. (Pause.) For example, we saw "Eastern Promises" together.

Rites of Spring

April flowers in April showers:

My new herb garden (lavender, basil & cilantro) - yes, I know the basil and cilantro will take over the entire window box. But I tried to help the underdog by putting plant food only around the roots of the lavender plant.

Expectant (not to be confused with expectorant) parents:


If the hat fits, wear it (aka 23rd St. on the N/R):

OK, it looks a lot like an Easter bonnet or something, but I didn't have a lot of choices at the right height without asking folks to move - and the train was rumbling into the station....

Plus ca change

This past weekend, I saw the first half of an opera about a sleepwalking maiden at the Met, watched The Whole Nine Yards, almost made it for a Palm Sunday procession (just 10 minutes too late for a 5-minute walk), met up with friends for dumplings, and went to a Belgian cafe with a friend from high school.

I haven't seen Becky since Labor Day, and now she is visibly pregnant. It's somewhat shocking, in a way, since it's easy for me to remember the "RBR Becky". But she and her husband seem happy. For the most part, I think most of their friends were originally his friends; her friends are generally far enough away that it's not really feasible to hang out regularly.

I'm inclined to think that the way a guy introduces a girl to his friends and acquaintances can tell you something -- it's not determinative, just one piece of evidence among many for girls who keep their eyes open. Case in point: Z, whom I'd met before, introduced me to his friend Y before Becky arrived; Y didn't correct him, but Becky later asked if I'd met Z's girlfriend Y.

Compare this with M who asked N with seeming nonchalance how she would introduce him around when he came to New York. When N said she'd introduce him as her friend, he took the opportunity to clear things up right away; he wanted to be identified as her boyfriend.

The Whole Nine Yards was pretty good - entertaining, but mostly forgettable. Though Amanda Peet has a smile that provides enough chemistry for two. It almost deserves its own movie. And Matthew Perry gave a great deadpan mini interview in the extra features about what it was like to work with Bruce Willis and give the guy a few pointers on acting.

Spoofville Legal Community Mourns the Loss of a "Gnat": Colleagues Remember Joe Schlunqk, Esq.

Spoofville Daily Bulletin
April 1, 2009

SPOOF CITY -- Janitor Edward Edwin once came across Joe Schlunqk at a local restaurant where Schlunqk was dining with Plato and Aristotle. The three were enjoying themselves, and Schlunqk was pointedly but politely debating the definition of "justice" with Plato, Edwin recalled.

That such a dull mind could relate to a philosopher so well was something that struck Edwin as remarkable, and is a memory that he will never forget. "It was truly astonishing and almost made me rethink the impressive degree of insignificance he'd achieved over the past 30 years of our acquaintance," Edwin said of his former boss.

"He was a gnat as a lawyer," said Edwin. "More importantly, he was a gnat as a friend, adversary, and employer -- pesky, but easy to swat away."

Other former colleagues agreed. "He was a gnat, standing on the shoulders of gnats. He often asked me to focus my research on the most obscure points of law while completely missing the cornerstone of the client's argument. He could hardly pin down the relevant legal issues by himself, let alone remember them long enough to put together a coherent outline," Associate Mary Marvel said. "It didn't take me long to realize I could most easily avoid the risk of malpractice lawsuits by hanging out my own shingle."

Joe Schlunqk died on Tuesday after a tragic encounter with an incandescent bulb. He is survived by numerous progeny, of whom only Joe Schlunqk, Jr. agreed to be interviewed for this article. "Bzzzzz, bzzzz," he said. No more fitting tribute can be offered to this true gnat of the legal community.