Based on a game my family and I used to play on road trips in Belgium. The valentines are "binary" in that the only settings are love and hate. The fun is in the choice of adjectives, names, places and gifts. There's pretty much endless room for variation - reluctantly, I passed over an apathetic or astigmatic lover in favor of an astringent one. Take up the challenge if you have a funnier or more clever valentine to share in the comments section.
Similarity to real persons or relationships is purely coincidental and should not be construed as an offer of marriage or other favors.
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