The title to this post has to be read in a girl's voice, with a hint of (very slightly whiny) protest.
I. Road Trip
During last week's road trip with my colleagues X and Y, I supplied the music and the driving and the snacks. We'd reached the soundtrack for Vanilla Sky, and I was focused on the road ahead.
Suddenly, from the back seat, I hear "Nooooooo!"
Startled, I ask, "What was that?"
X repeats, "Nooooooo, we can't be friends!" And I realize she's reacting to the song by Todd Rundgren, "Can we still be friends?"
It's hilarious: Every time poor old Todd sings some plaintive variant of this inquiry, it prompts an immediate and visceral response from her.
I think we've all been there, and maybe not always on the same side of the question.
II. The Perfect Girlfriend
Z was explaining to a guy that she was about to get her driver's licence; she's never had one before. Apparently her boyfriend is insisting on it, since he does not want to be her chauffeur. The guy was starting to make some snide remarks about demanding girlfriends with a sense of entitlement, and Z says: "Noooooooo! I'm the perfect girlfriend. I'm totally understanding of him. And I totally agree with him on this; he's not my chauffeur and I feel guilty for asking him to drive me everywhere."
Which made me wonder: What is the perfect girlfriend? Is she sort of a junior version of the Stepford Wife? And - most importantly - if she exists at all in real life (which I doubt), would she ever call herself the perfect girlfriend? I'm not sure a guy would be able to deal with "the perfect girlfriend" for extended periods of time -- probably it would get really annoying. So maybe the perfect girlfriend would have to show some imperfections from time to time, or even get into small spats about nothing, just to keep things interesting.
2 comments:
My theory is that the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend does not exist because there is not enough incentive for anyone to be one. The rewards for being the "pretty good girlfriend/boyfriend" are basically the same, for less effort. Even the rewards for being the "more or less adequate girlfriend/boyfriend" are reasonable. So why would anyone make the huge effort to be perfect?
Excellent point, Tom. I like the way you have parsed it out, it makes me think of rational economics principles (like marginal cost).
I must say I am still inclined to think that true perfection is unattainable in any event (at least without ESP). Maybe the more subtle point is that there is not a single standard of "perfect girlfriend (or boyfriend)" to which a person might theoretically aspire (albeit at great psychic cost and with little reward as you point out). Perfection really is subjective: the perfeet match for one person might be a terrible mis-match for someone else.
That could even help explain the high divorce rate, if people are marrying the stereotypical "good match" (i.e., someone who is as close to some societal standard of perfection in a mate) as they can get... rather than picking out someone who will actually be a good match for them in particular (warts and all) in the long term.
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